Raising an autistic child alone is very challenging. I love him very much. I’m thankful for any assistance that I do get from family and friends. At a very young age he seemed to be lagging behind his siblings, but I would brush it off. “He’ll catch up”, I’d say. Later I would wonder again if something was wrong! The doctors would even tell me, “oh he’s just a very active boy. He will grow out of it”. I really believed them too. After all they were the doctors! A few more years went by and I still didn’t believe that everything was ok. I know every child is different, but he was REALLY different. It was time to seek help. Surfing the internet I found some resources that guided me to have him tested the right way. I officially discovered my son is on the spectrum and it stunned me good! I knew he was a unique child, but I could never pin point exactly what was so unique about him. For two weeks I cried and cried. How could I be a special needs mom? Really? Those moms and dads are like super heroes in my eyes!
Sheesh! I laid on my couch depressed beyond measure. His future never looked so dim to me. After reaching out for help from some close family members it only got worse. They called me names and said I was an unfit mother. I could not believe it! This was like a horror story to me. Who will help me if I have no support at home? Another week went by and after hours and hours of thinking about what his future would hold for him, I decided to get up off my butt and FIGHT!
I was determined no matter what my family said to be his advocate and help him as much as possible to be as independent as he can be. I will love him and support him as we face this challenge together. Once I gained courage to stand up for my son, I realized the glass really was half full. He is still an amazing, unique child. I love how he thinks. He has his own way of expressing his ideas. It’s truly amazing to me. Actually, its beautiful!
I may join a support group one day that I can physically go to, although I’m still undecided. However, I do utilized many resources I have found on the internet as well as from autism organizations. I joined some local Facebook groups. So far I love those. They have been very positive and uplifting. There I can ask questions or read stories other parents tell. Some make me laugh, because my son acts the same way! There are no more tears. There’s no need! He’s still my son no matter what.
It’s been a few years now since his diagnosis. We work as a team, he has improved in many areas that he was formerly underdeveloped in. He is a very hard worker and so determined! I’m actually learning from him. Although some days are better than others I’m so glad I came to my senses quick and realized that he needs me. In addition, I needed him. He is my joy.